Substitute Lifeline
by Da Wong
Summary: Someone wants Kaoru dead. Why? Of course to grant life to the ever better Hikaru... What if... Kaoru let's his own brother die in front of his eyes? Has Kaoru already lost his human sense? Or is he really an artificial being?
1. Die For Me

_I wanted to save him,_

_But the water's already flowing over the rim._

~我愛你~

**KAO POV**

My brother, was in the Intensive Care Unit. He was, in an unstable condition. AKA: He was dying right in front of my eyes.

Now I was told I could save him I WILL save him. But at a cost.

Actually, I suspected it long ago, but I put it away into the corner of my mind.

Truth be told, I was Hikaru Hitachiin's clone, not his twin at birth.

I held my hand up to the light and studied it. It was fake, my body was fake, my mind was fake, my existence was fake. I have now idea how I was born, but I do know that I wasn't born from a human. I was fake...

Hikaru was dying from a rare disease, What exactly? I wasn't informed. My intelligence is being overlooked. My mother had never loved me as much as Hikaru, even though we never really came in contact; I have noticed the attitude difference.

Even if Hikaru's operation is successful, he will be paralyzed. That, is where I come in. Mother, no my fake mother, feared something like this would happen. This is why she had ordered scientists to make me. She needed a real heir, I was just the backup lifeline.

I had no right to feel hatred and jealousy, but I felt it anyways.

No matter how hard I worked, I was one level under Hikaru. Both he and I chased after Haruhi, but I let go, I knew I had no chance. I couldn't compete, yet I still yearned. I was weaker in every way.

He was 4th in class, I was 5th. Everyone always thought I was smarter, but that was false.

My life, was his. They were going to take my organs and implant it into Hikaru. and take whatever else they needed. Since we were exactly the same physically, he was sure to not reject my heart. Then, I would be left to die. According to mother, I was a being even lower than animals. I agree. I am not even supposed to be in the world.

All in all though, I think it was only fair I give my life to my brother. He has always given me love, unlike our parents. He has always protected me, if not physically, it was mentally. Even with the last of his strength, he had protected me from the assaulters. He jumped in front of me to shield me from the bullets, that should have been me. Maybe that was why mother slapped me and insulted me.

Right now, his heart was failing and his organs were shutting down completely.

As for me, I was strapped onto a hospital bed and there was no way for me to escape. Only my upper body was left free. Everything needed a key anyways, so my hands were no use. All I could do was wait until the doctors stripped me of my life.

I stared on, at the sheets, at the ceiling. Everything was so white. It was blinding me. It was killing me. Suffocating me.

Honestly, I wanted to runaway. To a peaceful place. Everything felt like a dream, no, a nightmare. I shall be killed. Then will I go to hell? or heaven? Or maybe my whole being will evaporate. I wasn't real anyways.

Frankly, I wanted to live, even if it was for the sake of the closest person to me, I'd choose to live. Sadly, I have no choice.

I wish this was a bad nightmare, I really do. But if it was, Hikaru would've awoken me already. I wouldn't be feeling pain. Not the pain of soon getting killed. Not the pain from the tubes entering my body from human made orifices.

There was a knock at the door and a solemn blond came in. Followed by the rest of my 'friends'.

I didn't want them to see me like this. I didn't want to be pitied. If I had one thing that was real, it would be my pride.

"Kaoru..." Tamaki whispered.

My fellow hosts hesitantly neared me.

I didn't smile. I didn't want to see these people, I spoke though, I didn't want them to think of me as a useless clone, my voice came out in a hoarse whisper, "Be afraid. I am a clone. I will be killed soon, so leave." I spoke in an emotionless manner. I literally didn't feel much asides from pain, rage and insanity.

For once, Kyouya showed emotion, "We want to help."

Haruhi came to hold my hand, "Please." Hunny held my other.

I didn't reject them, but I didn't particularly like them for invading my space, "Leave, I will get killed soon, I have diseases, I'll hurt you, GO AWAY!" Maybe I sounded quite vain.

Tamaki looked like he was going to cry, "Don't give up so easily, Kaoru, You-"

"I WHAT? I have no choice, I will be forced to let Hikaru live. I WILL DIE!" I felt no remorse for shouting into Tamaki's face.

Mori grunted and spoke for once, "Just listen Kaoru."

Hunny squeezed my hand and Haruhi did the same.

"What if I said you could live, yet save Hikaru at the same time?"

I glared at Kyouya, he was smart, I'll admit, but I wasn't about to trust him. I was just told I wasn't even supposed to be on Earth, and now I am told I can still remain on it and continue my ever fake life?

Kyouya started to explain, "Hikaru, is suffering from Cardiac arrest, which is-"

"I know what it is; something stops the blood from flowing, AKA: lack of oxygen throughout the body, which is why his organs and heart are failing," I closed my eyes, "Which is where I come in, my heart and organs will be extracted and will be replanted into Hikaru."

I spoke rapidly, but I didn't fail to astound the group. Everyone but Kyouya gasped. I opened my eyes again.

"Oh my god, this is against human rights," Haruhi held my hand to her cheek.

"Jesus," I jerked my hands free from their holders, "The point is, is that I am totally not human, Haruhi I know you want to be a lawyer, but laws are useless for me. There is not law that prevents a clone from being used as a substitute lifeline."

"There is something wrong with your logic there," Kyouya smirked slightly despite the grim situation. There was nothing more full of merit to him than to proving someone wrong in their desperation, "You say it like it's easy to transplant organs and hearts, obviously, it is not."

I rolled my eyes, I was really annoyed now, "We are in the hands of the best Doctors and Scientists in the world. I'd doubt a mistake."

"But, you could always escape," Kyouyas glasses glinted and he brandished out a lock pick, "Mori, you can free him right?"

Mori nodded and set to work on my legs.

"For fucks sake Kyouya, you think I can get away? You want Hikaru to die?" I nervously looked into the faces of my friends, "you guys are all going to get into trouble."

Tamaki smiled handsomely and chuckled, "You think we came without being prepared?"

"Hikaru is strong, your mother will probably pay a large amount for some corpse's organs, he'll live," Haruhi seemed confident, "also, ya think he'll enjoy living because he took your life?"

I was still hesitant, but Mori quickly said he finished. Hunny helped me up. My friends were there for me, so why waste their strength?

I readied to charge out of the horrid white room. I pulled out the tubes that stuck into my body and paused for a second to adjust to the pain.

When I was ready, I exited the room without help, leaving the rest of my host club behind.

That's when I permanently lost all my trust.

A gun was pointing to my forehead.

* * *

This is written for a friend's friend, honestly I don't really know her directly, but she seems like a honest, good person.

2 days ago, the girl went to a party with my friend, at around 9 o'clock, some bastard drove some car without lights on and hit her, now she is in Children's hospital.

Things shouldn't be like this, some stupid person almost stripped her of life, she is my age. I got the idea of this story because my friend said, "That guy almost took her life for no reason."

Be strong!

I'd love for you guys to review =)


	2. Break Me

_This is my new beginning,_

_And I have already started sinning._

~我愛你~

Honestly, I owed everything to Hikaru. I was probably one of his stem cells and then I became me. He _created_ me. I owe everything BUT my life. I wouldn't mind giving blood for him, I wouldn't mind him hating me for not dying for him. I knew Hikaru loved me. To him, I was his other half. He was mine too.

Maybe things would be easier if I gave away my life. I was lucky Hikaru was still in a coma I guess. What if he rejected me after finding out I was a clone, not a human. What if he was disgusted at himself for caring for an artificial human? Those thoughts sickened me.

If Hikaru told me he wanted me dead, didn't love me, I would die without hesitation, yet, since he was dying, my urge to live increased. I wanted to surpass his life time. I wanted to be superior for once.

I cleared my head of these thoughts; this HAD to be a bad, horrible dream! I mean, who get told they are fake, then gets locked up, and ends up in this predicament. The gun was still pointed to my head.

The person behind the trigger was none other than my 'father'. He looked shocked; like he was surprised he was the one holding a gun. My mother walked up to stand beside him, but my eyes never left the butt of the gun. Where my parents, fake or not, able to kill their son whom they cared for and raised?

Mother tapped father's shoulder, he gulped and cocked the gun.

I froze. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't blink. My mind was blank with fear.

"Don't move, you'll die," my father said quietly, he may have looked like a coward at the moment, but I complied. I had nowhere to go.

"Kaoru, Kaoru..." My mother shook her head as she tsked, "You really think we loved you? You fell for it. The trap!" She laughed hysterically, "I was testing you if you were loyal to my Hikaru. Turns out you aren't. You aren't grateful at all, You're more worthless than a dog!"

I couldn't believe my ears. My friends had tricked me. The people I had trusted with my life. The people I had believed in. I wanted to scream. I wanted to runaway and never see these people again. I wanted to be a real human. I couldn't do anything because I was worthless.

Mother snapped and doctors and scientists behind her stepped forward. I never realized they were there. They seized me and tied my arms and legs up. They crowded around me until they were sure I was completely immobile. After that, they backed away, leaving me feeling completely vulnerable. I cowered beneath my mother's stare.

I felt betrayed.

I felt unloved.

I felt utterly alone.

I found a voice, a voice of longing, "Hikaru loves me. He loves me. I am real."

"Love? Everything you see is not real. It is an image put in your head-"

"NO!!!" I was screaming now, "I know you never loved me. I didn't care at all! Hikaru will never betray me! He doesn't want me dead!"

"You are to die and there is nothing you can do about it. Your so called friends agreed to help me test your loyalty, if you stayed in the room, I'd let the doctors put you to sleep first, but this is your punishment, we will cut into you while you're awake," she smirked, I knew then, where the famous brotherly love couple got their smirk, "Hikaru, right now, is temporarily stable, the transplant will be put off until things get worse," she eyed me suspiciously, "No more funny business, or you'll get punished."

My father sobbed slightly and shot the gun.

It hurt...

My heart, soul and body.

**HARU POV**

I gasped, Kaoru hadn't closed the door and we saw the whole thing. My head wanted to burst. Hikaru was dying, apparently still in danger. Kaoru was a clone, apparently to die for Hikaru.

This was too much, way too much. Is god really that cruel? Even a bystander like me was hurting. I couldn't imagine the pain dear Kaoru was going through. He was hurt, he was betrayed, he was shot down.

The gun only held bullets that would put him to sleep for a few hours, the gun itself wasn't shaped like one, it was small and looked more like an injector. I knew because they used it on Hikaru.

When I saw Kaoru fall from his sitting position I reacted. I launched myself to cover his body.

"You bastards stop!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, "You people are just rich bastards, you have no right to do this!"


	3. Live Life?

_Love Live Laugh,_

_The things I cannot do without my other half._

~我愛你~

**KAO POV**

I cried. I admit it. I was now strapped to a table. Unable to move. Unable to defend myself from the hovering people that were going to cut me open.

I was now going to bring Hikaru back to life. We had to wait until his heart stopped. The transfer had to be done within 5 minutes or he'd really be dead. His heart had to stop because then the blood wouldn't burst out and get in the way.

All in all, I was going to get the bad end of the deal. My punishment was to not get put to sleep. I was going to be cut open without any anaesthesia or sleeping gas. I knew it'd be hell. But how would I know? I'm already in it.

If I wasn't about to die, I'd find this horrifically funny. I mean, it's like a hollywood movie, ever so dramatic, but the consequences for this scene was just way too real.

I turned my head slightly. Just enough to look at Hikaru. He was a few meters away, but he seemed so lifeless.

The face I loved was a dead skull. The smile I cherished was gone. The warmth from the love he felt for me disappeared.

Yet, he is still my dear brother.

To think that in a moment, one of us shall disappear.

I listened to the beeping of the electrocardiograph. It was going slower and slower. More unevenly and evenly. It only moments until a long whine filled the room.

People rushed in. Who? I don't know. I felt dizzy. I didn't want to think. Hikaru was dead. But he will have another chance to live. But I have one and only one. Even if I am a clone. I... don;t think it's fair.

Blood pour from Hikaru's slightly agape mouth. Crimson soaked into the white sheets. The red just yelled death. I couldn't bear it anymore. I closed my eyes, ignoring the loud whine and screaming people.

Then I felt someone touch my hand gently. So gently it feel like it actually cared. It didn't feel like it pitied me, it was trying help. I ripped my eyes open. There, I was met by a pair of big brown eyes. It was Haruhi.

I've always thought that it was Haruhi who ruined everything between me and Hikaru, and I certainly did blame her. But somehow, I never felt hatred. I've never wanted to hurt her. I thought I was just too wimpy to, but my past thoughts were wiped away. Haruhi was certainly someone that everyone loved. Yes, she wasn't the cheerful, happy figure girls seem to become, but I know, that she expresses emotions from her heart, not body.

She smiled, "Kaoru, it's time to go." She motioned towards my other ex-friends, "It isn't how you think."

I stared at them. The whine from the electrocardiograph blinded my senses, "Go?"

Haruhi smiled sadly, "I'll explain later, Trust us one last time?"

I snapped out of my trance, I didn't really care anymore, "I don't care." I closed my eyes again.

I guess Haruhi knew I was broken. She realized that I didn't want to suffer anymore, she was selfish, "Live, look, we care about you. I told you, I'll explain later. You're coming with us whether you like it or not... bye... Hikaru."

I didn't open my eyes, I felt Mori's hands grasp my body. I'm guessing he had lock picked yet again. I let them carry me out of the bloody room, the room with my dead brother. A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. _Hikaru. Why, why didn't you let me die when those people came? Why do you have to make me suffer?_

Before I knew it, I was in a damp, dark room, sitting on a moldy smelling bed. My 'friends' surrounded me.

Tamaki was trying to smiled, but burst out in tears instead, "H-Hikaru... Dead..." He sobbed, "B-But Kaoru, has to l-live."

"Tamaki, stop it, we need to make plans," I hated Kyouya the most at the moment. He acted as though nothing was wrong. Hikaru wasn't dead and I wasn't a clone that was just about murdered, "Plans about where Kaoru will stay. Our houses are out of the question."

Hunny seems glum, but he was still tearless, also, "Sorry Kao-chan, we didn't mean to betray you before. Kyouya told us beforehand. He knew there were going to be tons of guards outside your room, so we umm... pretended to betray you." He came to give me a hug.

I didn't want pity, especially pity from the people that had seen me lose everything. I shoved Hunny to the floor. I didn't feel guilty when he landed hard on the floor or when Mori punched me in the gut.

Everyone fell silent. It was time for me to ditch these heartless people, "See? SEE? Everyone has someone that loves them the most, Mori and Hunny. Kyouya and Tamaki. Fucking Haruhi and Everyone." Right now I was far from breaking into tears. I was pissed as hell, not for my friends betraying me, then sucking it up to me, but because I was alive. I wanted death now. I hated myself, "The person that loved me the most, just left me. It's all because I'm not dead."

I'm sure I stunned everyone, they thought I'd be grateful towards them saving me, but they didn't know me. No one did. I was not even supposed to live. But one person spoke up, that person was none other than Mori, "Fine, Kill yourself. If your so sure no one cares for you, then leave and join Hikaru. Clone or not, didn't we risk our heads to save your ungratful self?"

Correction. I hated Mori the most, "Yes, I think I will. You all betray me and now you say your sorry? I don't get you people. I still could have died."

Hunny neared me, yet again, "Risk it was, but your not dead right? Your safe and sound now." He had said this very quietly.

"I can't say I trust you, nor can I say thank you," I didn't feel safe, but I guess I was calmer, "But dead I am not... A-And Hikaru is... I don't get it. Why didn't you let them save Hikaru? My brother is freaking DEAD." I choked, but I wasn't about to cry.

Haruhi sat on the bed and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "Cuz you deserve to live. I told you, you'd think Hikaru would bear to live knowing he only survived because you died? Yes, you are a clone. But you are also registered as a normal human being. With a name and all. You are Kaoru Hitachiin and nothing else." I relaxed in her hold. It looked like I wasn't hated. I wasn't looked down upon.

Tamaki finally spoke, "We care for you. H-Hikaru... is dead for sure, but you shouldn't be killed. We love you! Mon Ami!" Sure, Tamaki was over expressive, but somehow, it calmed me. I broke down, "s'il vous plaît, vivre"

He told me to live... I almost smiled, "We'll see... we'll see..."

_Hikaru, I miss you already. I wish we dead together, but I guess god just wants to pity me more._

_My life is fake, but Earth's reality is real. I guess living is alright. For now._


	4. Kill Me

_Death awaits me,_

_Please just let me be,_

_I have no love,_

_So why don't I just let myself rise above?_

~我愛你~

**KAO POV**

I was now alone. I have been alone in this world for the past week. My brother was gone and my acquaintances have just been coming in and out for no apparent reason. There was fresh food in the miniature refrigerator and cupboards, all of them of which we ready to eat.

The room was dark and stank of moss. It was probably some unused abode on Kyouya's land. Kyoyua's because he was the one that managed most of the Ootori land and he would be the one to know where to keep me. The criminal for merely living.

Even if I had died, there was no guarantee that I would've saved Hikaru right? The scientist were experimenting. I definitely… did not kill my own brother. I was just a human look-a-like… right?

I spent my days wondering about my past. Everything had seemed so real. Although everything I touch with my body, I really don't, it's all stimulated from fake nerves.

Everything about me from my skin and bones to my heart and love are fake. So why does this sadness seem so real? Why does this loneliness seem so genuine?

If I were fake, shouldn't my feelings be fake too? I really wish they were.

Hikaru was dead and I was cursed to live in this shack for eternity if I wanted to survive. I hated myself for not having the guts to die. I definitely wouldn't of let those bastards kill me and be successful, but I can still follow Hikaru's route and be with him. He's not too far gone…

I don't know who to trust anymore. My friends have betrayed me once before... my family... they're not my family. I doubt anybody could be as alone as me.

I sat on the foul smelling bed and rubbed my temples. Life is so hard.

Suddenly I heard a knock on the door and muffled low voice mumbled something inaudible.

"Hello?" called out, the door was locked so I if I wanted to keep to myself I could. Maybe Kyoyua wasn't such a heartless money lusting bastard after all.

The voice murmured again. From the low tone, I couldn't make out the owner of the voice. Usually my 'friends' tones were distinguishable.

Mystified, I walked around the eating table and stood by the door, "Who is this?" I put my ear to the door. The abode was so low-tech, there was no eye hole in the door!

_Something is wrong. The person at the door is a stranger. None of my friends would act so oddly._

"Who is this?" I asked a second time. When hearing no answer, I asked another question, "What do you want?"

Ragged breathing started and something started pounding heavily on the door.

I jumped back, "You know this is private property! Get off immediately!" I knew Kyouya would've never told anyone where I was and the others most definitely... wait... they have betrayed me once before. Why am I trusting them again?

My mind stopped working when a blade pierced through the wooden door.

Stupefied, I did nothing but stand there and wait for the hole to get larger and larger. Chucks of wood clanked on the ground.

When it was big enough, a hand shot threw and reached for the lock.

That was when I finally came to my senses. I grabbed the vase Haruhi brought to hold flowers, dumped the flowers out, and smashed it on the hand. The glass cracked and fragments dug into the man's flesh.

The guy screamed and his hand retreated. _What the hell is going on?_

"Kaoru Hitachiin, you are to be put to death. You are now marked as a scientific experiment gone wrong," The man gasped in pain and then continued, "Surrender now or we will pull your friends into this," An eye appeared through the hole, "You can't get away."

I threw my hands up in defeat, "Dude do what you want, they've already betrayed me," I grinned like it were the old days, "I don't have anything left in the world. But I can at least have some fun."

The scientist laughed, "Oh you don't know how much fun you will have with us."

"Oh," I smirked, "I think I do." _I had an idea._

"So do you agree to come quietly?" Pain was evident in the voice, "I you won't, then I will be forced to call… for assistance."

"Take me, kill me, do whatever you'd like."

"Really now?" The man chuckled, "It's not that simple is it?"

"Yes," I said, giving him a smile as sweet as hunny, "I have one request."

* * *

**Review?** I do need the motivation…

If you want me to update this fic, then go to my **profile and vote**. I want to see what fics I should work on more and what ones I should finish up quickly.


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